Sex can be a beautiful experience. It can also be a very emotional experience. That’s why it’s best to abstain, or wait until you’re in a committed, adult relationship – like marriage.
Abstinence does not mean never having sex. It just means waiting until the right time. Sex is a very intimate act and it can complicate a relationship. It can lead to hurt feelings. If you have sex with someone when you are not ready, or because you are pressured into it, you may feel bad. You may also begin to wonder if your partner really cares about you. While sex is one way to show love, there are lots of other ways too, like volunteering together, or having a themed cook-out or trying a sport or outdoor exercise activity together.
Friendship and romance cannot work without respect, honesty, trust and caring. The best relationships start with each of these as a solid foundation -- not sex.
Sexual Abstinence is a choice – it is your choice. If you have decided to abstain from sex until marriage and someone is pressuring you to have sex with them, explain that you have decided to wait until you are married for reasons that are important to YOU. If they continue to pressure you then they are disrespecting you and your choice.
There is a difference between love and sex and it is not necessary to have sex with someone to show them that you love or care about them. It is not right for someone to make you feel bad or say that you do not love them because you do not want to have sex with them. If someone truly respects you and your choice they will never make you feel bad or guilty for choosing not to have sex.
Even if it's a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or a friend, sex of any kind without YOUR consent, is RAPE.
Abstinence can make dating better! If you abstain from sex with someone you are dating there is no need to worry about contracting an STD or getting pregnant. Not having to worry about these issues can take a lot of stress off of a relationship.
Having sex will undoubtedly change your relationship. It is important to consider the emotional consequences of sex. Abstaining from sex can also help avoid the emotional complications of a sexual relationship.
Choosing to not have sex while dating allows you to know that the person you are dating is with you for YOU. They are not just interested in having sex with you. They respect you and your choices. You will never feel used or exploited for choosing not to have sex.
Marriage is a mutually committed relationship with many benefits. A marriage allows for emotional stability, companionship, love and trust. A faithful marriage, wherein both partners are monogomus, alleviates the worry of sexually transmitted diseases and promotes a healthy sexual relationship. Studies show that married people live longer lives, are physically healthier and are wealthier.(1)
It is important to communicate to your boyfriend or girlfriend how you feel about sex from the start. Be completely honest and establish limits for the both of you. Talking about sex openly and honestly is the sign of a mature relationship. It is not necessary to give in to the pressure to please someone else.
Remember, if your girlfriend or boyfriend does not respect your decision to abstain then they are disrespecting you, so why would you want to be with someone that does not respect you?
Many teenagers feel pressured to do more than they are ready to…stand up for yourself and do not let the pressure make you do something you do not want to do.
(1) Source: "Why Marriage Matters: 21 Conclusions from the Social Services", Institute for American Values, 2002.